A strange and troubled young woman made the news again. She's been in the news a lot lately. Why? Because she had a baby. Why is that news? Really, I have no idea. She's a young woman, she got pregnant, and she had a baby girl. The only reason I can find for this woman being on magazine covers and mentioned on every news program on radio and TV is because she likes to pretend she's a man. She even went so far as to have volunteer mastectomies and to take hormone pills so she could kind of grow a beard (look at the pictures of her), but that's it. She doesn't have any male parts, if you know what I mean. In fact, the articles usually mention (somewhere towards the bottom) that other than her breasts she kept her female parts.

That's how she was able to have a baby.

The only reason this is a story at all is that it drives someone's agenda. Whose, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe the manufacturers of hormone pills. Maybe the groups who want to legalize same-sex marriage ... except that the stories are usually written to make it sound like this woman isn't a part of a same-sex couple. She's got a partner--who is a woman, like she is except without the facial hair and with all original equipment except possibly for wisdom teeth--but the stories want to make it seem like the story's about a man who married a woman then they got the birthing experience backwards. They didn't, really. This is the story of a man impregnating a woman, except that the man in question was just some donor somewhere and the woman is, well, see the first sentence of this blog so I don't have to repeat myself.

Why this makes the news and truly momentous events don't I'll never understand. That little dude that just won the hot-dog eating contest--unseating the other little dude who's been winning them for years--recently ate at the Big Texan. If you've ever driven anywhere within a hundred miles of Amarillo, Texas (definition of the phrase "safe distance"), you've seen signs for the Big Texan. That's the place where you can get a 72 oz. steak for free ... providing you eat it and all the fixin's in under an hour (by yourself). That little hot dog eating dude (I really don't have the time or inclination to look up his name) was recently in Amarillo and ate the steak and fixin's in EIGHT MINUTES. 72 ounces of roast beef labeled "steak", a potato and a salad made up almost entirely of lettuce cores (I'm kidding about that, I think) in under EIGHT MINUTES.

Now, THAT's newsworthy!